Friday, March 5, 2010

My Kind of Parenting #1

Firstly, this is in no way against anyone or their parenting. These are just my views and if you don't agree, take it with a grain of salt. I have a wide variety of momma friends who do their own things when it comes to different ways of parenting. Just because we share different views, (unless you ram it down my throat), doesn't mean we have arguments about parenting styles. To each her/his own. I'd like to add that until you become a parent, you have NO idea how you will be. I'm living proof, there are things I thought I would never do, but I have. So, here we go. :)

Natural vs Epidural

When I first found out I was going to be a momma, I immediately thought about how much it was going to hurt pushing a 7-9lb baby out of my va-jay. I was all about getting drugs the whole way. When someone asked, I replied, "I'm not stupid, I'm going for the drugs."
Fast forward 40 weeks, well...41 weeks 2 days (lazy baby girl), I woke up with my 1st real feeling of a contraction. "Eh, this is deal-able for now." I went on about my day. Cleaning, getting crap ready for my mother to get into town that afternoon. Throughout the day, the pains where slowly getting more intense, but still.. nothing I couldn't handle. About 7:00pm, my contractions were coming 5-10 minutes apart, so Russ called the hospital and talked to the doctor on call. She said come in to triage and get checked out. Blah blah, get hooked up to monitors, was having mild contractions at a normal rhythm. I was 2cm and 80% effaced. I was told to go home and come back when I couldn't take it anymore because I was only in early labor. Seriously, NOT the thing to tell a huge preggo 9 days overdue.
I go home, take a shower. 11pm.. the contractions were much much worse. I got out of bed and propped myself against the outside wall (it was cold) and labored there for 5 hours. I would doze off between contractions, but at about 4:30am they were coming in waves and lasted for about 8 minutes. I finally woke Russ up and told him its time to go.
Got to the hospital and was checked by this HORRIBLE man that felt like he was reaching for my throat. I screamed at him. I was 5cms, 100%. Time for baby!
The nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural then. I said, "Yes."
I still wonder if I could have done it on my own. Hell, I got to 5cms on my own.. whats the other 5? After another 5 hours of laboring with the epi (which was fantastic, but gave me the shakes bad) I started to push. They turned off my epi. By the end of the hour of pushing, I felt a lot of pain and pressure when my daughter was crowning and coming out.
The point is, after she was out, it was over. No pain. Nothing. I had a great birth experience. I would rather go through that again than 9 month of pregnancy.

So, in the end... would I consider going it au natural next time? Probably not. I could probably do it with no drugs. Honestly, contractions were not THAT bad. Yes, they hurt. Yes, I wanted to punch my husband out. But, I did it and got through them without being over dramatic. No panting or screaming for this girl. *Except those last 3 pushes... seriously being told to stop pushing when your child's head is lingering RIGHT there is agonizing*
But, in the end, I enjoyed my time at the hospital being pain-free. I got to see family and friends while I was in labor. I watched some TV. I got to talk to my husband instead of screaming at him. So, I think the epidural was for me and will be my choice for baby #2.

Another thing to add... if you're a momma who's all about being natural and holistic and end up giving birth in a hospital and bitch about what a horrible experience it was for you. PLEASE do some research and find a birthing center that is MADE for that kind of experience. Hospitals and doctors do what they need to do to get the baby out safely. Find a hospital that has a good rep for following birth plans. Same thing goes for doctors.

My hospital is nicknamed the "baby factory". I was never pressured to get an epidural. My nurses were AWESOME coaches for pushing. They only gave me Pitocin AFTER I delivered the placenta to help speed up my uterus to contract back down. Yes, they took my baby away to get cleaned up, but I was able to hold her and breastfeed her after they stitched me up. They left me and my husband alone for 2 hours to get to know this little person.

So, do your research! I just hate reading about how much you hated your experience. It doesn't have to be like that. There are so many ways to bring a baby into the world.

My choice was a hospital and drugs. :) I don't regret it for a second and I would do it all over again in a second.


Your Mommy Friend Lori said...

Thanks so much for visiting ny site! I did it both ways, al la natural (not on purpose) and with an epidural. Turns out I was right all along, for me, drugs made for a more postive birth experience (but that's just me). I wrote about it, thought you might be interested.

Hippie Mommy said...

You've read my birth story so you know how it goes. I wanted a natural birth, didn't have one, didn't want an epidural, changed my mind and got one, and had the most beautiful, wonderful, joyous birthing experience I could ever imagine. Never once did I feel disappointment or regret that I was induced or that I decided to take the epi :) I would like to try having a baby without being induced, but, eh, a healthy baby and an ob that respects my wishes but knows when to intervene... well, that's all that matters to me :)

Anonymous said...

hey dena here.. i totally agree with you.. i HATE when people cram their opinions down your throat and try to make you feel bad and wrong.. everyone has an opinion and not agreeing can make for interesting convo as long as you have respect for the others opinion.. i am not a parent, but i do know the know it all parents..everything they do it the best, and they will tell u how u r wrong. makes u wonder.. why do u have to cram opinion? i thinks they are actually insecure and need validation in some way..its like who are you trying to convince?? me or yourself.. that goes with anything whether its about parenting or something else.. i know u r strong and smart and dont need to hear dont let them get to u cuz i know u know that..and i bet as ok gets older the opinions and unwanted advice will be more frequent.. screw them! u r doing a great job. and having drugs is fine and ur biz..if it was so awful and wouldnt even be an option .. right?? so there u have it.. my parenting opinion..stuffed own your thorat (hahahahahaaa) from a non parent.. amen!

jss said...


babyandsofia said...

It is so ironic that you posted this today. I was just having this conversation today with our nanny (who is not yet a mother). She was asking what my labor and delivery was like, and I gave her an honest answer. I prefaced it with the fact that going into it, I was open to having the baby naturally or having an epidural. I wanted to see how it would go.

My labor story: Three days before my due date, my OB stripped my membranes, which gave me my first light contractions of my entire pregnancy. (Never had braxon hicks.) On Saturday, my husband and I ran errands and cleaned the house, all while I had a few contractions. Then I woke up at 5am on Sunday with real contractions about every 5 minutes. And they hurt, but definitely tolerable. Around 6:30am, we decided it was probably time for the hospital, as they were still 4-5 minutes apart. I got to the hospital at 4cm. In the next 2 hours, I reached 6cm without any drama or screaming. Just breathing. I ended up getting an epidural around 9am because I was having horrible nausea, and the epidural took care of that. Then, it was smooth sailing until noon, when I was ready to go. The nurse suggested I rest, so I did. Then around 2pm, I started to push, and 30 minutes later, I was nursing my little baby boy. I had an incredible experience. It was much easier than pregnancy.

Back to my nanny; she was so pleased to hear a normal, un-dramatic birthing story. My labor and delivery was amazing, and I think more women need to share these happy stories.

hthrbelle said...

Amy, I love this post! I believe you read my baby story as well. Do I think I can make it with the epi next time? Yes. But do I want to? Not really. Maybe to save money, lol.

I think you hit it all on the head. Lily was also born in a hospital that has the nickname of "The Baby Factory" They deliver babies and do it well. Period.

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