Friday, August 17, 2012

Being Grateful

It's been a long while since I've wrote on this blog. A lot has happened in the past 8 months. I'm not really going to get into what has happened since December but I wanted to clear my mind with a post about being grateful for what I have.

I try and look at the positives in my life, but sometimes it's very difficult when you're struggling to pay the bills. It seems like the expenses of life are endless and overwhelming at times. We are not a well off family, but we are also not at the bottom of the income structure. Russ works a crappy cycle schedule of 12 hour shifts in which he misses tubbies and bedtimes, breakfasts, story time, and hanging out with his family in order to provide for our family. He will also be working night shift this Christmas Eve and Christmas. Thankfully, he will be home Christmas morning, he might be groggy from only getting 3 hours of sleep, but he'll be up to see our girls enjoy Christmas morning. Anyways, as the new year approached, I realized I no longer wanted to be a massage therapist. I barely worked anyway. I worked around Russ's schedule and stayed home with the girls to eliminate the need for a babysitter. After the new year, all therapist had to be licensed and with that also came costs of continuing education, insurance, etc. I weighed it all out and decided to just leave the field entirely. I've been essentially unemployed since January. I started to toy around the idea of going back to college and changing my career path entirely. I kept thinking, "I'm too old", "I'd never pass my classes", "We don't have the money", etc. Finally, after the support of my hubby I signed up to take 2 of my pre requisites for the diagnostic medical sonography program. I started in May with English Composition and Arithmetic (due to HORRIBLE math placement testing, I had to start at the very bottom). I found it challenging but yet so nice to get back into the school life. I haven't set foot in a classroom since 2001, so it was a bit odd for me. Thankfully, I found there were other students who weren't 18 and just out of high school in my class. I got a lot of support from my family and my in laws came to watch the girls when Russ wasn't home. I passed my 2 classes with a 4.0 grade point average. I DID IT! I start my fall semester on Monday. It's going to be more challenging because I'm taking 3 classes and a laboratory (for Biology), pair that with an already busy fall schedule of ballet classes, preschool, and holidays. I know I can do it though. If I set my mind to do something, I do it 110%. After the semester ends, I have completed all my pre-classes I have to take in order to qualify for my program. It's a very competitve program and they go by a rating system to determine if you'll be accepted. I have to send in an application and essay. So, I'll be doing all the at the beginning of the year and hopefully I'll be accepted! The courses start August 2013. It's a 2 year program, so I'd be done and graduate in May 2015.

This is why we've been struggling. I don't work in order to completely be able to do my schooling without the added stress of going to work. I still am at home every day, I take care of my girls, clean the house, make meals, etc. That in itself is a full time job. It's just been hard since I stopped working. We need to be a 2 income family in order to fullfill our dreams of home ownership, vacations with the girls, and not struggling to pay our bills. This is why I'm going back to school. I want to work and contribute to our family.

So, with all the money worries I've been having over the past 9 months, I'm trying to see the better side of my life so that I can make it through these next 2.5 years.

I am grateful for:
  •  My husband, who supports me 100%. He gets up with the girls if I need to sleep, study, or just need a minute to myself even if he's only gotten a couple hours of sleep. 
  • My girls who light up my day, every day. Even when they're bad, I see them quietly sleeping at night and think how lucky I am to have them in my life. 
  • My family who's helped me mentally, financially, and watched the girls when I needed them. 
  • Our apartment. It's not huge, but it's our home for now. The neighborhood is safe and Target is only 2 minutes away. :P
  • My health. In the past 10 months, I've lost almost 40lbs. I got real about who I wanted to be and I was sick and tired of being overweight, lazy, and unhappy about how my clothes fit. 
  • Being able to run outside. It's been a real blessing to be outside, around the time the sunsets and be able to be in my own head alone. I don't have to share myself with anyone during that time and it's so nice. 
These are just a few, but the most important to me. I will just keep my head up and move on to bigger and better things. I know it may be hard now, but with some sacrifices, we will be fine. It's only for a short period of time.

I'll leave you with a recent picture of my family. My babies are growing up so fast. Olivia is 3.5 years old and Alex is 19 months.

This was taken at the park that is literally 3 minutes away from us. We go there ALL the time. My friend took these shots, she's awesome and has been photographing Alexandria since she was born.
Her website is Allenbaugh Photography if any of my local peeps want more information.

So long for now. I hope to write more often. My life is crazy, but I really do miss writing. 


YOU said...

As always.....I'm always proud to say you're my daughter. I want to be just like you when I grow up!!!

kristy said...

nice to see you back! you look great :) congrats on losing the weight!!


Heather C said...

I love reading your blogs. I think it's amazing what you are doing by going back to school. Normally the best things in life come with a little bit of sacrafice first. I can't believe Alex is almost two already. I SWEAR she was just born!

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